We've just arrived back in Rutland after four weeks away. Some things have changed (Connick's has a stall at the Rutland Farmers' Market, hooray) and some things have remained the same (the mall is still devoid of any character whatsoever).
The one thing that remains refreshingly the same is the Rut's ability to make us laugh via the random things that we see on one given day. We kid you not, our first day back in The Rut, we snapped the following:
Out for an afternoon stroll, the four members of our walking party had a laugh out loud moment when we walked past a bra on the sidewalk (hey, we'll readily admit small things amuse small minds). We were a little way away from the closest laundromat so we don't think this fell out of someone's laundry bag. We hope it was a little spring fling and nothing nefarious.
After a few drinks at the Downtown Tavern we headed to Applebee's for a very late dinner and were somewhat shocked to see what appeared to be a raging fire next door. No one was panicking so we quizzed our server who just shrugged his shoulders and said 'oh, that's our neighbors, they light fires all the time'. Fair enough, it was a pretty cold night for May.
3. A woman carrying an open laptop while crossing South Main Street with her family
Not sure why you would need to have your laptop open while out on a walk (she's behind the girl with the giant purple ball). Random GPS application? Hell, we have no idea, we just love the entire photo - from the giant ball to the laptop to the dog straining to get off its leash.
It's great to be home! There really is no place like the Rut.
Remember Cafe Terra's inclusion on the Friday Fail list a couple of weeks back? A regular reader emailed us last week to let us know Cafe Terra had seen the error of their ways. Finally, we can chalk up a victory to the English language (take that Diamond Run Mall and Ponderosa Steak House). We love it.
An honorable mention goes to the Rutland Creative Economy who fixed their spelling indiscretion not long after we mentioned it.
Side note: we've said it before and we'll say it again. We love Cafe Terra and we mean no disrespect. Best coffee in Rutland by a mile.
We know it seems like we're picking on Rutland's Diamond Run Mall but when we saw this ad in today's Rutland Herald, our reaction was 'what the?'.
Don't get Rut Girl wrong; not featuring the 'over 50 stores' claim is a solid move but replacing it with 'come enjoy our stores and shops to dine and snack' is certainly a unique tactic.
Rut Girl knows she's had a lot of cold and flu medication in the past few days but she doesn't think it's her imagination .... that sentence doesn't make sense. Then there's those first time visitors whose expectations are now no doubt high about the fine selection of dining and snacking they may be able to enjoy upon a visit to the mall.
Let's revisit Rut Girl's list of stores from her visit last week:
So let's do the math: Something Sweet, Orientaste, Sbarro, Gene's Beans and The New American Grill & Tap Room are the 5 dining and snacking options on offer (unless you count Vitamin World). Oh hang on, we forgot, there's also the K Cafe inside of KMart. Make that 6.
Hardly a wealth of choice and let's face it, Something Sweet doesn't really count because as delicious as they're offerings are, you don't really snack on their goodies while walking around the mall (we could be wrong). Orientaste and Sbarro aren't really what we'd consider 'dining' options either, unless you're idea of dining is eating off Styrofoam plates with plastic cutlery. Each to their own though.
And let's not forget about the free parking. That's the biggest reason of all to go? Back to the drawing board marketing team.
On a recent drive back from New York, Rut Girl was amused to see this billboard for the Diamond Run Mall, which basically positions the mall as a Rutland attraction (closer than you think!). What we loved more was the 'over 50 top name stores claim'. We also love that the 'you' has been abbreviated to a 'u'. Farewell English language, you are officially dead.
Rut Girl has had frequent occasion to visit the mall and to be honest when she moved here, she was just glad there was a mall, because at that stage the movie theater was still closed and entertainment prospects were looking pretty slim.
We were willing to consider that the sign may have been old, after all, there's still a Pickle Barrel billboard on that road promoting a Bret Michaels concert that happened a year ago. But then when we went to the mall Friday, we saw this banner strung up.
Yes, even indoors at the mall, the claim is that there are over 50 stores, and even more amusingly, an invitation to 'rediscover the NEW Diamond Run Mall'. Rut Girl would hate to see what the old mall was like.
Rut Girl couldn't fathom the idea that there were over 50 stores under the mall roof so with pen and paper in hand, she dutifully made her way around the mall, carefully counting the stores, stopping only for something to eat at Orientaste, which she knew would be a mistake but goddamn it she loves Asian food. The results speak for themselves (and we're not talking about the boneless pork and rice). For authenticity, we present Rut Girl's notes:
So as you can see, the list of stores comes in at 44 (Kay Toys Bee and Steak Out were shuttered). Now Rut Girl is of the opinion that you can't really count hair and nail salons or food court/restaurants as stores, so if you take those out of the equation, the number is more like 37.
Actually, make that 36, we just noticed we hadn't asterisked Regis Hairstylists. We don't think phone providers like AT&T count either but in the interest of fairness, we'll count them. We also think 'top name stores' is a bit of a stretch, no offense Rock'n Willy's or Novelty Tees.
And while we make light about the inconsistencies of the marketing campaign, the disappearance of stores, whether it be recession based or other, is cause for concern particularly as the people of Rutneyland themselves dismiss the mall.
Since Rut Girl moved here, pretty much everyone has labeled Rutland's mall as a joke. I countered with Mama Rutland today that it seemed a little unfair and how could one expect big name stores to stay if not even the local folk support them. Her response was resounding 'it's simply a joke; it's not a mall and if I want to go shopping I'd rather drive to Lake George or Burlington.' Harsh words indeed!
To prove her point, Mama Rutland drove Rut Girl to Wilton Mall. I saw lots of similarities - Victoria's Secret, Kays, Old Navy and Sears were all there. Then there was all the stores that we don't have - H&M, Banana Republic, Forever 21 and the list goes on. Wilton was also bright, airy and playing current music, something you definitely don't encounter upon a visit to the Diamond Run Mall.
I tried to rationalize it, thinking to myself, Wilton must have a bigger population. So, here are the results from the US Census Bureau's website:
On a brighter note, in honor of Bret Michael's debut on Celebrity Apprentice tonight, we thought we'd throw in some footage we found from his gig at the Pickle Barrel. Enjoy.
1. A bra strewn on the sidewalk on Woodstock Avenue
3. A woman carrying an open laptop while crossing South Main Street with her family 
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