Not So Stable

It seems like Rutneyland residents aren't the only ones starved for fun.

At Killington Resort's K1 Base Lodge, thieves made off with a ... wait for it ... 'big round table'.



Seriously? A table? Skis, yes. Table, no. In fact, stealing a table from a ski lodge seems, well, a little unstable.

While Killington may be happy to ask no questions, Rut Girl has questions:

1. Why?
2. How did you get it out of there with no one seeing you?
3. Why?

We here at Rutneyland implore you by all means to return the table, but then send us an email (rutgirl@gmail.com) and let us know what possessed you to take it in the first place.

Blown Away By Too Much Information

Another gem from the Rutland Herald. This one was passed on to me from Mr Rutland. It's from Wednesday's Dear Abby column. I don't know about trumpets, but I do know there is such a thing as too much information, or TMI as the kids like to say.

You can read Abby's considerably less funny response here: http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20100224.

What's Wrong With This Picture?

Take a look at yesterday's obituaries page from the Rutland Herald. Does anyone else think its strange that they put a snowmageddon image titled 'Deep Freeze' beside the obituaries? Just saying.

They Don't Call It The Kill For Nothing

Was out enjoying the pizza buffet at Killington's Outback Pizza on Monday night where getting a slice was like trying to get a sane word out of Tila Tequila.

Couldn't help but laugh when we saw a father introducing his kid to the joys of hunting. Only in Vermont.

No More Beautiful Music At The Palms?

A couple of weeks ago, upon the recommendation of my friends, lets call them Mr & Mrs Rutland, I headed to The Palms restaurant on Strongs Avenue. The drawcard? A reportedly homeless man had been hired as the restaurant's entertainment.

Apparently the man's musical secondment had started with cello interludes but the clientele hadn't really taken to the performances so the owner asked him if he had another instrument he could play.

Mr Rutland had it on good authority that this new instrument would be a recorder. Yes, a recorder, the woodwind musical instrument commonly played by school children, much to the dismay of their parents.

This understandably was too good an opportunity to pass up. It's not everyday you see a grown up homeless man playing the recorder. Along with Mr Rutland and Butternut I headed to the Palms ready to see whether diners would enjoy eating Italian food to the calming sound of the recorder.

As it turns out, the recorder was really a clarinet. That disappointment aside, the entertainment lived up to expectations with The Beatles and a unique rendition of Pop Goes The Weasel all getting a whirl on the clarinet.

Understandably you'd be keen to head to The Palms to hear Pop Goes the Weasel on the clarinet but the homeless man apparently hasn't played at The Palms for the last two weeks and the rumor mill suggests he's played his last gig. Shame. I encourage you to voice your concern directly to the Palms.

The Bus and Article 4, an icy debate

If you don't own a car, the only way to get around Rutneyland is via its bus service, simply named The Bus. I love The Bus, it costs just 50c to roam around downtown Rutland and $2 if you want to go up to Killington. Not only is it a bargain, it is a guaranteed way to see some of Vermont's human oddities in all their glory.

If you're lucky, you'll have received a People of Walmart email at some point. I think there should be a People of the Bus email that does the rounds each month. In fact going forward I may just dedicate a page to them.

Anyway, there's an election coming up so mailboxes, sidewalks and shopfronts are awash with campaign literature designed to sway your preferences at the polls.

The Bus is not immune. Bright pink A4 sheets adorn the buses asking Rutneyland voters to support continued funding for their local transportation system.



'The Bus. We're going YOUR way' .... unless you were one of the customers left stranded on Tuesday night when the Rutland-Killington connector stopped in the wake of snowmageddon. My friend, who'll we'll refer to as Butternut to protect her privacy, had come to Rutneyland for a few hours and needed to return to her home in Killington. We stood outside for half an hour in the snowstorm (which had eased by this time) waiting for the 10.15pm bus.

When The Bus failed to materialize, we called them and were informed they had ceased service. Nice. We get it. It was snowing. A lot. But if you want people to get behind your service and support it, you need to provide some level of customer service. Maybe like sending someone to the stops and putting up signs advising them that service was suspended. Not everyone has The Bus' number on speed dial (Butternut has had frequent cause to call them), so if you want us to 'get on board' at the polls, lift your game. Oh, and offer a service to Burlington.

Music You Know; Moves You Didn't Know You Had

So it turns out that a lot of Rutneyland residents who live by the adage that the fun never started in Rutland head to the Saratoga Racino at Saratoga Springs, NY in search of a good time, no doubt secretly hoping that lady luck will deliver a windfall big enough to get them out of Rutneyland.

When a free ride presented itself to me, I could hardly pass up the opportunity to see if Saratoga really was a better alternative than a night out in Rutneyland.

Turns out, Saturday night at the Racino is quite a night and quite a sight.

Where I come from there's a place called the Gold Coast. We refer to parts of it as 'God's Waiting Room' because a large portion of the population is aged 60 and beyond. Turns out the Racino is a worthy challenger for the title.

As I navigated my way around the oxygen tanks attached to the patrons using their last breaths on the chance they might strike it rich on the slot machines, I was drawn into Vapors Nightclub, where Bud Light were furiously bastardizing Mardi Gras by handing out branded beads and masks. I won't lie, I was quite taken with the sparkly hat they gave me.

But the real action was on the dance floor where God's army were shaking their pacemakers to the sounds of a soul band. One of Vapor's claims is 'Music you know (Moves you didn't know you had)'. Let's just say, that I saw some moves I'll never forget.

I encourage you to visit Vapor's website and have a look at the images they use to promote their club. Then I encourage you to watch the videos below for a more accurate representation of Vapor's clientele.

General Larry Platt , the 62 year old who busted a move on American Idol, would be proud.

Fireworks Spectacular

There was a lovely fireworks display on Sunday night in downtown Rutneyland. Unfortunately the fireworks took place some time between 11.30pm and 12am so those who weren't jolted from their sleep by what sounded like gunfire, missed the lovely array of colors. Not sure what the occasion was, most likely a bored teenager making the most of the holiday week. Next time let us know so we can all ooh and aahh together.